Premium Rush

When YouTube was still in its infancy, some of the earliest viral videos I remember watching were bicyclists doing trick moves to hop up steep inclines and thread the needle in tough to reach places.

It was parkour… but with bikes!

And you know what I always thought those videos were missing? Bumbling cops chasing these daredevils for absurd comic relief.

Thankfully, “Premium Rush” delivers.

And “delivers” is the right word, because “Premium Rush” is about that most loved of all groups of people, bike couriers. Yes, now those annoying people who you just want to run over in traffic (unless they’re bringing you your Jimmy Johns) have their own movie dedicated to making you wish you were as constantly amped as they are. Continue reading “Premium Rush”

Summer Movie Preview 2012: 40 Movies Worth Talking About

“Prometheus,” “The Dark Knight Rises” and “Brave” are all on my list of the most anticipated movies of Summer 2012.

I’m not going to lie; 2012 has been a surprisingly good year for movies thus far. I’m behind on the indie and foreign critical darlings that may show up on a few best of the year lists come December, but if this trend continues for the mainstream fare, we might just have one hell of a summer.

And yet, there are no doubt movies that frankly look terrible. It would be easy to just rave about the few I’m genuinely interested in, but I can’t exactly hold my tongue on all of them.

So just like I did last year, this is not a summer preview but a list of movies I’m actually interested in talking about.

Prometheus
Prometheus

Top 10 movies I’m pretty damned excited for this summer

Moonrise Kingdom (May 25)

Wes Anderson’s comeback live action film after the wonderful “Fantastic Mr. Fox” would normally have me rolling my eyes when I see how plainly Wes Anderson the trailer for “Moonrise Kingdom” is. But the cast additions of Bruce Willis, Edward Norton and Tilda Swinton to Anderson’s go-to lineup are what are so invigorating. If there’s one thing that concerns me, it has Anderson repairing with screenwriter Roman Coppola, who also did “The Darjeeling Limited,” possibly my least favorite Anderson film.

Prometheus (June 8)

I’ve seen more viral trailers and TV spots than I know what to do with for “Prometheus,” and yet still the story remains ambiguous as to its ties to Ridley Scott’s own masterpiece, “Alien.” Scott is one of those legacy directors that are still churning out great product on a regular basis today, and this looks like his best in a long time. The cast has both massive nerd and cinephile cred, and it happens to come out on my birthday.

Safety Not Guaranteed (June 8)

It’ll be interesting to see Aubrey Plaza in a leading role for a change, and Mark Duplass looks like her perfect match in this quirky indie comedy where a crazed Duplass tries to enlist her to travel back with him in time.

To Rome, With Love (June 22)

Woody Allen is one of the few directors today who can get anyone he wants in his movies. His latest film rounds out his European holiday that has taken him to Barcelona, Paris, and now Rome, and he’s brought with him Alec Baldwin, Roberto Benigni, Jesse Eisenberg, Penelope Cruz, Ellen Page and Greta Gerwig. This also marks the first time Allen has acted since 2006’s “Scoop,” which alone should generate some buzz. But some mixed reviews regarding Allen’s superficial treatment of Italians have me worried we may be back in the hole of his shrug-worthy films.

Brave (June 22)

More interesting than Pixar having its first dud in “Cars 2” is Pixar having its first female lead in “Brave,” the Medieval story of a princess (although she doesn’t yet seem like a blatantly marketed Disney princess) who is adept with a bow and casts a spell to change her fate. Pixar is the best for a reason, and a part of me bets this’ll snare that “Hunger Games” audience too.

Seeking a Friend for the End of the World (June 22)

It’s not easy to make the apocalypse funny without being completely lewd and ridiculous, and Steve Carell seems like the perfect casting choice to do that. I can already tell he’s got great chemistry with Keira Knightly, and Patton Oswalt in anything is a sure thing. It’s directed and written by Lorene Scafaria, whose last project was “Nick and Nora’s Infinite Playlist,” which I didn’t much care for though.

Beasts of the Southern Wild (June 27)

Easily the most obscure title in my most anticipated list is this visionary indie that won the Grand Jury Prize at Sundance this year. It’s a post-apocalyptic story about a girl and her father living in a bathtub on the open sea and the girl’s psychological ramifications that lead her to believe she’s responsible for all of the destruction. “Beasts of the Southern Wild” looks plain beautiful too.

Magic Mike (June 29)

I LIKE CHANNING TATUM’S PECS! I mean, Steven Soderbergh has been on a roll lately. Both “Contagion” and “Haywire” were off the beat and path, and this film, about the story of a male stripper, is likewise a jock strap of a different color. If it is good, Soderbergh will have more great movies in one calendar year than any director I can think of.

The Dark Knight Rises (July 20)

Yes. Yes. Yes. No, it’s not shot in Chicago anymore, but… Yes. At the very least I’m hoping everyone forgets about seeing “The Avengers” after this.

Ruby Sparks (July 25)

“Little Miss Sunshine” is one of those movies I can instantly get caught up watching if I see it on, and Jonathan Dayton and Valerie Faris finally putting out another film has just made my day. Paul Dano is a struggling writer who falls in love with the female character he’s writing, and they form a relationship when she actually appears out of thin air. Looks hilarious and adorable.

The Bourne Legacy

Yeah, I’d see it

Dark Shadows (May 11)

People have been ragging on Tim Burton for doing nothing but adaptations of already creepy, weird and quirky stuff (me included), and not many people would’ve said adapting a soap opera was a good idea, but the idea of Chloe Moretz working with Tim Burton, even in a small part, seems strangely perfect to me.

The Dictator (May 16)

“Borat” hasn’t aged well, and “The Dictator” isn’t even a prankumentary, but Sacha Baron Cohen put Ryan Seacrest in his place Oscar night when he dumped Kim Jong Il’s ashes on him. I’m sold.

The Intouchables (May 25)

I’m calling it right now: “The Intouchables” has Oscar bait written all over it. It’s the second highest grossing foreign film behind “The Passion of the Christ” and going strong, and it’s the saccharine story of a black man from the streets hired to care for a wealthy paraplegic. It looks like it has “Driving Miss Daisy” and “The Bucket List” rolled into one, in which case it could be absolutely terrible.

Oslo, August 31 (May 25)

All I know about this Norwegian film is that it was a Cannes competitor in 2011 and it’s one of the sleeper foreign art house movies to hit the states this summer. It’s the day in the life of a recovering drug addict and looks visually stunning.

Lola Versus (June 8)

Just about every critic officially fell in love with Greta Gerwig in “Greenberg” when she seemed like the most naturally attractive woman working in the movies today. She doesn’t look like a movie star; she looks like your girlfriend. But this movie about her bouncing back from a bad breakup is going to try and make her a movie star anyway.

Take this Waltz (June 29)

Like the “Little Miss Sunshine” team, this is another indie romance from a director who’s been on a long hiatus, Sarah Polley. Her last feature, “Away From Her,” is nothing like the young-love story of “Take This Waltz” but will likely share its spirit. Michelle Williams, Seth Rogen, Luke Kirby and Sarah Silverman star.

Your Sister’s Sister (June 29)

Mark Duplass is literally in everything this year. This mumblecore romance is not from him and his brother but from his previous director on “Humpday.” Duplass’s best friend Emily Blunt sends him away for a recovery weekend with her sister, played by Rosemary DeWitt, and a steamy hipster love triangle forms in the middle.

The Amazing Spiderman (July 3)

A friend of mine wondered how Andrew Garfield’s hair would possibly fit under Spiderman’s skin tight mask, but why ask questions when this is really just a remake of the original “Spiderman” with a new villain and wallpaper. I am curious to see Marc Webb’s follow-up to “500 Days of Summer” though.

The Bourne Legacy (August 3)

Matt Damon’s Jason Bourne was possibly the coolest action hero of the last decade. To replace him would’ve been a mistake. So new director Tony Gilroy, the man behind all the previous Bourne screenplays, has crafted a new story (not based on a novel) and a new hero, Agent Aaron Ross (Jeremy Renner). He’ll be interacting with all the existing Bourne characters in events before and after those of the trilogy. This and “The Avengers” will turn Renner into a bona fide star, and I’d pay good money to see Edward Norton in a villain role.

Lawless (August 31)

I would say “Lawless” is Director John Hillcoat’s feature film version of “Boardwalk Empire,” but this film has been in production hell for so long that Shia Labeouf would’ve probably been cast as Jimmy Darmody had people seen this film sooner. In fact, even this release date is tentative, so you may be going cold turkey for a little while longer.

Rock of Ages
Rock of Ages

I’m not really expecting much, but I guess it could be alright

Hick (May 11)

At this point, I’d pay to see Chloe Moretz in anything. I think she’s a terrific young actress. I haven’t heard of Director Derick Martini, but he’s notorious for being a filmmaker who earns bad press. “Hick” already has a 5.1 on IMDb. Ouch.

God Bless America (May 11)

This movie looks really bad spirited. Comedian turned filmmaker Bobcat Goldthwait, who directed Robin Williams in “World’s Greatest Dad,” directs, and he’s made a story that a lot of people even more cynical than I may relate to and find hilarious. A man wanting to kill himself because of all the horrible people he sees on TV instead chooses to kill all the people he feels deserve to die, and he makes a teenage girl his accomplice. Fun.

Hysteria (May 18)

Oh boy! It’s “Love and Other Drugs” for the 19th Century! It’s the period drama of a doctor who invents the vibrator, or here called, “The Feather Duster.”

Rock of Ages (June 15)

Do people actually like ‘80s hair metal? The jukebox musical soundtrack for the very successful Broadway production of the same name looks more like a Buzz Ballads track listing than something hip and cool. This is director Adam Shankman’s first musical since “Hairspray,” a casting choice that makes more sense than Tom Cruise singing.

Savages (July 6)

Even from the trailer, “Savages” looks cliché, ridiculous and visually exhausting, just like Oliver Stone’s last mess of a movie, “Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps.” Stone’s been off the deep end as a filmmaker for a number of years, and I’d be lying if I said I’m still curious to see what he does next.

Ted (July 13)

Is having animals or things that shouldn’t be able to talk act normally in the world just Seth Macfarlane’s thing? The teddy bear Ted has a voice that’s a blend of Peter and Brian, and I don’t need any movie that feels, sounds or looks anything like “Family Guy.”

Neighborhood Watch (July 27)

Could “Neighborhood Watch” be the new classic teen comedy that’ll make an obscene amount of money? Maybe. Lonely Island’s Akiva Schaffer directs. At least it’s not “Paul Blart 2.”

Total Recall (August 3)

I somehow have fond memories of watching the original, absolutely balls to the wall ridiculous and campy “Total Recall” when I was younger. This version by the director of all the “Underworld” films potentially looks no fun at all.

The Campaign (August 10)

No trailer for this yet, but how are we going to deal with two manchilds, Will Ferrell and Zach Galifianakis, in the same movie? Director Jay Roach finally looks to be combining his penchant for directing cerebral, HBO political dramas (“Game Change,” “Recount”) with his penchant for stupid comedies (“Austin Powers,” “Dinner for Schmucks”)

Hope Springs (August 10)

I said that Meryl Streep really needs to stop doing characters and be a normal woman again in a movie. But you know what? She really needs to stop working with awful directors like Phyllida Lloyd and the man behind “Hope Springs,” David Frankel.

The Odd Life of Timothy Green (August 15)

I really must be a sucker for indie bait from good directors, because the premise of “The Odd Life of Timothy Green” actually has a lot in common with “Ruby Sparks,” only this whole movie has been Disneyfied. The trailer has at least 20 seconds of shots of a kid with arms wide open beaconing the heavens, which is hilarious.

Sparkle (August 17)

“Sparkle” is basically “Dreamgirls,” only a remake and not based on a real life Motown group. The cast features a bunch of R&B pop idols of today, like Jordin Sparks and Cee Lo, but its real pull is the new work of the late Whitney Houston.

Premium Rush (August 24)

Did you know Joseph Gordon Levitt actually crashed through a taxicab rear window and got 31 stitches in his arm while filming this movie? If an action movie with a bike messenger is really as interesting as this behind the scenes video is, then I’d see it.


 

Battleship

Oh dear god

Battleship (May 18)

It’s ridiculous to say “Battleship” is based on a board game, like “Pirates of the Caribbean” is really “based” on a Disney World ride. It probably would’ve made immensely more money if it was just called “Navy Explosion.” Regardless, it still looks like a worthless “Transformers” retread.

Men in Black III (May 25)

Are the original “Men in Black” movies actually good? What was the last genuinely good thing Will Smith’s been in? Has a movie other than “Toy Story 3” with a “3” on the end of it ever been good?

Snow White and the Huntsman (June 1)

Oh yeah, screw “Mirror Mirror,” because we need a dark version of “Snow White.” That Disney cartoon was really getting dated. Better just make it into “Lord of the Rings” and cast Bella Swan and Thor.

That’s My Boy (June 15)

Ugh. Adam Sandler, go away. And why did you have to take Andy Samberg with you?

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (June 22)

I’ve never seen a trailer of this movie where people didn’t laugh their heads off at the title. But it’s based on a graphic novel and done by the guy who did “Wanted!” Yeah… and?

G.I. Joe: Retaliation (June 29)

See, I don’t know why more ninjas don’t have sword fights on the sides of cliffs. It makes perfect sense.

The Expendables 2 (August 17)

As I was watching trailers before “The Avengers,” “The Expendables 2” was the only one that didn’t have a ridiculous amount of CGI and was actually grounded on planet Earth. It almost makes me want to see how ridiculous it is for that very reason, but then, no.

Oh, and by the way, I already saw “The Avengers.”