Every Mission: Impossible Movie Ranked, From Worst to Best

Where does Tom Cruise’s latest, “Mission: Impossible – Fallout,” rank among the six films?

Did anyone ever expect the “Mission: Impossible” franchise to have this much longevity? In every movie, Tom Cruise dons a ridiculous prosthetic mask, pulls off an impossible heist and even ends up forking over the thing he just stole to the very person he’s trying to keep it from in the first place. But across 22 years, six films and five directors, each “Mission: Impossible” movie has varied wildly in tone, style and cast while pushing the limits of wacky, action set pieces and preserving the tongue-in-cheek spirit of the original TV series. With “Mission: Impossible – Fallout,” the sixth film in Cruise and Paramount’s franchise hitting theaters Friday, we chose to accept this nearly impossible mission of trying to decide which ones we like best. This list will self destruct in five seconds. Continue reading “Every Mission: Impossible Movie Ranked, From Worst to Best”

Rapid Response: Carrie

I’ve been unkind to Brian De Palma before.

But I was quickly informed that my blanket statement about De Palma’s lack of style in regards to “The Untouchables” doesn’t apply to his more well regarded masterpieces like “Carrie” and “Blow-Out.” Surely if I saw those I would be likely to change my mind.

Well no, I’m still wishy-washy about “Carrie,” De Palma’s early cult-horror classic starring Sissy Spacek as an abused teen with the power of telekinesis.

De Palma’s approach strikes me less as homage to genre filmmaking and more as him wallowing in overdone ideas without a distinct style of his own. He accentuates soothing facial features of certain women and teachers with delicate, foggy filter close-ups and wide shots and then amplifies the doom and gloom of religious persecution with ominous low angle shots and intensified soundtrack cues. The screeching violins of the “Psycho” score are incorporated not as a nod to Hitchcock but as a crutch every time Carrie uses her powers. He elicits a monumental performance from Piper Laurie as Carrie’s mom but bludgeons you with her presence due to its screechy, insane, sanctimonious tone, making for a truly delusional depiction of extreme Christianity.

What’s more, his way of building suspense is to just make a movie completely different from the one the movie will end up as. It’s all a manufactured element of surprise, one that’s been deadened and aged over time. He draws out the maudlin splendor and beauty of Carrie being showered with applause as the prom queen endlessly, only for it to transform into an avant-garde psycho-horror movie. It suddenly incorporates split-screen and deafening sound mixing to completely shift the movie’s trajectory, not gradually take you into the moment.

But the bigger problem I think stems from the fact that Carrie has no personality. She is so berated at school and by her mother that we know nothing of her interests, her quirks, her dreams or her desires. We feel only pity for her, and clearly so does the Robert Plant clone who ends up asking her to the dance. He doesn’t love her, but he genuinely has fun and wants her to have a good time, but little else.

He’s the one redeemable character in the film, and the remainder of the time is spent too heavily on the bitchy teenage girls and John Travolta going to parties and working out during gym class. It’s a hateful film right to the end when we read the graffiti label on the site of Carrie’s burial ground. We only care for Carrie because the rest of the characters are so exaggeratedly awful and because the pacing and tone is so melodramatic and maudlin that the movie is capable of surprising us with her range and power.

And yet when she unleashes all hell on her classmates, Carrie at that moment stops being a human whom we can sympathize with and becomes a demon. Her battle with her mother is an unfortunate epilogue.

“Carrie” is not the cult masterpiece I was expecting it to be. It continues to place me in a minority and forces me to take a staunchly contrarian stand on an otherwise respected director, but so be it.

Rapid Response: The Untouchables

When I first saw “The Untouchables,” I thought it was highly overrated for just being kind of lame and stupid. It seemed cheesy, and so it is. Brian De Palma is clearly making a modern day crime drama in the fashion of an Old Hollywood gangster movie. But now I think it’s overrated because it’s so plainly obvious that he’s doing that.

The problem with De Palma is that he’s a leech. He makes “homages” of classic American films, but he lacks his own personal style. His aesthetic is big and bold, but its without a defined pacing or tone. This is loosely true of “Scarface” too, a film that thrives based on its charismatic lead performance from Al Pacino, and one he also dedicates to Howard Hawks.

“The Untouchables” is the story of how Eliot Ness (Kevin Costner) and his small team of vigilante cops took down the Chicago organized crime lord Al Capone (Robert De Niro). But rather than take a truly interesting approach to this historical story, De Palma concocts an intentionally adorable and token back story for our hero and a series of big budget action set pieces that are bloody, but look clearly shot on movie sets, have corny dialogue and gigantic musical swells in a score by Ennio Morricone designed to place the viewer back in 1930 when this movie is set and could’ve been made. Continue reading “Rapid Response: The Untouchables”